Ok ladies, let's talk a little bit about post-partum depression. This is SUCH a tabu topic that NO one wants to talk about. "If I say I have PPD then they will judge my parenting skills" "I don't want them to think I am a bad mom" "I don't want them to pity me" and all the other horrible negative self talk and damage we do to ourselves...
let's take a moment
- We have 60,000 thoughts a day in our head... they are just thoughts, they are not the truth. Thoughts are generated by our genetic makeup, things happening in our environment, our personal habits and our reaction to what is happening around us... they are not wikipedia! Pull the thought in... STOP! examine the thought... turn it around and make it a new, positive thought
- example " they will judge my parenting skills if I say I have depression" STOP... turn it around "everyone has down days, if I talk out loud they (and I )will be proud for having the courage to say something, I will feel better after talking"
OK now that we have cleared the air, let's move on. I have never had PPD. I have these HORRIBLE pregnancies where I throw up every.single.day and I want to die. I then pop my kids out and I feel insanely euphoric and blissful for months (true story) however, I do have huge hormonal surges just like everyone else... crying while nursing, thinking its been 3 weeks and they are growing up too fast! that lasted like 5 minutes... The point in telling you this is not to brag... it is to tell you that I can NOT start this conversation... you know the one. Mom 1 "sometimes I just can't take it" mom 2 "YES, me TOO!! I am so glad I am not alone" Therefore YOU have to start the conversation!
You can not let another day of sitting around in your jammies go by, while you watch the minutes tick by until your partner comes home to help you and or just to talk to another human being. You need to have the courage to get off the couch, at the very least brush teeth and comb hair and go somewhere, talk to someone, join a playdate. reach out!
There are resources all over orange county
and great online blogs to read
Here are my recommendations.. (because I like being bossy and telling people what to do... I have no expertise in this area)
- Stop the negative self talk
- have the courage to talk to your partner about this
- Identify triggers that make it worse (lack of sleep it a big one) You may need to have support (or a hired night nanny come over for 2 nights in a row and you leave and stay elsewhere a friend a hotel to get a full 9 + hours of rest) (another big one is too much change... are you not producing enough milk? do you need a lactation consultant.. or to suplement formula.. I know I am going to get slammed for this one, but really take the effing pressure OFF yourself, giving baby a little formula so you can get your head on straight WILL NOT HARM your baby... and if it makes you more present and available to care for your baby, do what you need to do.
- Get out of the house and find a routine! Set a goal to be somewhere by 9 am every day and again at 2pm. Maybe you get up, dress breakfast, get in the car (which yes might take an hour) drive to the grocery store pick up just 4-5 items for lunch drive home go for a walk, and then do naps, feedings, and maybe head out to a park from 2-3.
- get into a moms group! Join one of our free open plays here on OCM... join a MOMS club that has twice weekly meetups, Join a church group.
- WORKOUT (you knew that one was coming ;D ) I am a HUGE advocate of using exercise to beat any and all forms of depression. A mom-centered workout group will not only help you lose the baby weight, but by getting out of the house and connecting with other moms you will be surrounding yourself with positivity!
- stroller strides,
- baby boot camp san celmente/DP https://www.facebook.com/BabyBootCampSouthOC
- baby boot camp CDM https://www.facebook.com/pages/OC-Baby-Boot-Camp-Newport-Beach-Coro...
- Fit Mamas at my studio. www.purefitnessoc.com
Please don't feel alone... we are here to support you.. reach out to us, post up an event on the boards "coffee break for moms" or "playdate and chat" Reach out and take control of your health for the sake of you and your little one.
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