Time to stop breastfeeding?
Hi all, I am wondering if any of your have faced a similar issue but managed to find an alternative solution:
Basically, my son’s pediatrician recommended I stop breastfeeding cold turkey. I went in because I wanted some advice about his constant night waking. My son is 11 month old and has woken up to nurse 3-4 times a night since he was born. I’ve pretty much gotten used to only sleeping for 2 consecutive hours at a time BUT recently, he has started waking up every hour! He doesn’t go back to sleep either and really wants to nurse. If I don’t nurse him, he throws a tantrum. I have even tried co-sleeping but he is too excited to be with us and won’t sleep.
He is exclusively breastfed and has been slow to take to solids. He is only eating 5-7 ounces a day--he refuses to eat more than that. His weight gain has been slower (25% at 9 months and now 15%) so I am (again!) worried. The doc said the weight isn’t a concern, since he is active, etc. but he said that my son will eat more if he is not breastfed, and it will be easier for us to sleep train him. Neither my husband or I want him to "cry it out", but his sleep is getting worse, not better.
I am really confused because I am not sure if there are alternatives or if I should just bite the bullet and do it? The truth is that I love breastfeeding and I am in no hurry to stop--especially not cold turkey! But maybe that is the best thing for my son? I am so confused and would appreciate any feedback ... it seems like such a big decision and I want to know if any alternatives exist, and if not, how do you stop breastfeeding?
Tags: breastfeeding, sleep, weaning
Views: 211
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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NO! Don't stop (as long as you want to continue). There are lactation consultants on this group and if you don't get a response from one of them, contact Giselle at Granola Babies and she can put you in touch w/ someone. If weight gain becomes an issues, you can pump and supplement breastmilk with formula for additional calories. Related to sleep patterns -- babies go through phases when their sleep patterns change, sometimes it is due to the seasons, family routines, growth spurts, etc.
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Permalink Reply by Saritha on -
Hi! I agree with Michelle, if you still want to continue breastfeeding, then you should keep doing it. My daughter used to nurse at night and ended up just sleeping on me till she was 13 months. I didn't want to sleep train her, but ended up doing it because we were all sleeping so terribly. It might not be the right answer for you. I did just stop nursing her at night cold turkey, and after a few nights she was sleeping through the night. She would cry at the beginning of the night, but once she fell asleep, she never woke up in the middle of the night hungry or asking for milk. I wouldn't worry too much about the weight issue (especially if your pediatrician isn't worried), babies usually get most of their calories from milk the first year, and he might just start drinking more during the day if he stops at night. So, I guess what worked for us was just stopping night nursing (I never enjoyed the night nursing anyway, and always felt like it wasn't good for her teeth) and dealing with the crying in other ways. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Janet on -
Hi Michelle, thanks for your post. I am definitely not ready to stop breastfeeding, but don't know if it is enough for my son, given how little solids he is eating. I am not sure how to pump and supplement--I don't think my son will take a bottle and even if he does, when should i give it to him? also, i am not sure how much breastmilk/formula he needs? I think you're right--a lactation consultant may be able to help. This is also the main reason I don't want to cut out his night nursing--because I now he needs the feedings. I wish I could find a way to get him to eat enough during the day--and i am now willing to add formula to the breastfeeding, but am not sure how to proceed...
Michelle said:NO! Don't stop (as long as you want to continue). There are lactation consultants on this group and if you don't get a response from one of them, contact Giselle at Granola Babies and she can put you in touch w/ someone. If weight gain becomes an issues, you can pump and supplement breastmilk with formula for additional calories. Related to sleep patterns -- babies go through phases when their sleep patterns change, sometimes it is due to the seasons, family routines, growth spurts, etc.
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Permalink Reply by Janet on
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Thanks, Saritha! I feel better knowing I am not alone! I also didn't want to sleep train, but it has recently got to the point where he is up almost the whole night. Last night we put him in his crib drowsy but awake, and sat next to it soothing him while he cried! It was torture! He cried for an hour and 15 minutes! The thing that kept me from picking him up was knowing that even rocking him and nursing him to sleep doesn't work anymore. It has come to the point where he just wants to be awake and play and anything else makes him cry. So we stuck it out and he finally fell asleep. He woke up to nurse at 10pm, 1am, 3am and then woke up completely at 5am. Sadly, I would consider this a successful night! lol.
I just tried to do the same with his nap, but without my husband here, it was a lot harder and I gave in after 45mins. He fell asleep nursing but it took less than 5 mins. I am fine with nursing him to sleep for naps but we are going to continue the same thing with sleep training at night, as we heard it takes 3 days and should get better... keeping my fingers crossed. If I could find a way to get him to eat more during the day, I would be fine with cutting out night nursing completely. I think it will help him sleep.
Thanks for your advice.
Saritha said:Hi! I agree with Michelle, if you still want to continue breastfeeding, then you should keep doing it. My daughter used to nurse at night and ended up just sleeping on me till she was 13 months. I didn't want to sleep train her, but ended up doing it because we were all sleeping so terribly. It might not be the right answer for you. I did just stop nursing her at night cold turkey, and after a few nights she was sleeping through the night. She would cry at the beginning of the night, but once she fell asleep, she never woke up in the middle of the night hungry or asking for milk. I wouldn't worry too much about the weight issue (especially if your pediatrician isn't worried), babies usually get most of their calories from milk the first year, and he might just start drinking more during the day if he stops at night. So, I guess what worked for us was just stopping night nursing (I never enjoyed the night nursing anyway, and always felt like it wasn't good for her teeth) and dealing with the crying in other ways. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Saritha on
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You're definitely not alone! I hope things get better for you soon- sleep training is almost as painful as sleep deprivation. It did take us 3 nights, and each night was a little better. But we still have our ups and downs, it wasn't a perfect solution like the books say. And I was also unable to do it for naps, I still have to rock my 2 yr asleep for naps. It is hard to cut out night nursing if you can't get him to drink/eat much in general. My daughter is a good eater, but drank very little aside from breast milk, so I worried too. She did drink more during the day after I stopped nursing at night, but again, it always feels like a gamble because you don't know how they'll respond until after you make the change. Good luck!!!
Janet said:Thanks, Saritha! I feel better knowing I am not alone! I also didn't want to sleep train, but it has recently got to the point where he is up almost the whole night. Last night we put him in his crib drowsy but awake, and sat next to it soothing him while he cried! It was torture! He cried for an hour and 15 minutes! The thing that kept me from picking him up was knowing that even rocking him and nursing him to sleep doesn't work anymore. It has come to the point where he just wants to be awake and play and anything else makes him cry. So we stuck it out and he finally fell asleep. He woke up to nurse at 10pm, 1am, 3am and then woke up completely at 5am. Sadly, I would consider this a successful night! lol.
I just tried to do the same with his nap, but without my husband here, it was a lot harder and I gave in after 45mins. He fell asleep nursing but it took less than 5 mins. I am fine with nursing him to sleep for naps but we are going to continue the same thing with sleep training at night, as we heard it takes 3 days and should get better... keeping my fingers crossed. If I could find a way to get him to eat more during the day, I would be fine with cutting out night nursing completely. I think it will help him sleep.
Thanks for your advice.
Saritha said:Hi! I agree with Michelle, if you still want to continue breastfeeding, then you should keep doing it. My daughter used to nurse at night and ended up just sleeping on me till she was 13 months. I didn't want to sleep train her, but ended up doing it because we were all sleeping so terribly. It might not be the right answer for you. I did just stop nursing her at night cold turkey, and after a few nights she was sleeping through the night. She would cry at the beginning of the night, but once she fell asleep, she never woke up in the middle of the night hungry or asking for milk. I wouldn't worry too much about the weight issue (especially if your pediatrician isn't worried), babies usually get most of their calories from milk the first year, and he might just start drinking more during the day if he stops at night. So, I guess what worked for us was just stopping night nursing (I never enjoyed the night nursing anyway, and always felt like it wasn't good for her teeth) and dealing with the crying in other ways. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Jen Broas on -
Can I recommend a book to you? It's called the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I have a 19 month old very difficult sleeper (who still struggles a bit), but I also exclusively breastfed for 13 months. I usually nursed her to sleep, but started feeding her solids at 6 months. I very much chose the natural route of childbirthing, childraising, etc. I had so many friends recommend Baby Wise or the Cry it Out "training". I refused and am thrilled I did. This book will help tremendously!!! Another amazing book is The Fussy Baby by Dr. Sears. Lifesaver.
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Permalink Reply by Jen Broas on
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Another amazing breastfeeding resource is Milkalicious in Aliso Viejo. They helped me alot too.
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A lactation consultant can advise you on how to pump if you want to go that route. It IS possible to breasfeed and bottle-feed with breastmilk at the same time; getting the right bottles/nipples will facilitate helping your baby to catch on to this. The LC or pediatrician could recommend the amount to supplement w/ formula or you can figure it out on your own (the powdered formula will indicate how many calories are in each scoop). One thing about night waking and breastfeeding -- it is not always the breastmilk they want/need, but rather the comfort of being close to mom in order to fall back asleep.
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Permalink Reply by Meg Marie Ford on -
Breastmilk has more calories and nutrients per ounce than most solids you can give. I would advise you to get a second opinion. Any doctor who is asking to wean before a year for nutritional purposes is not breastfeeding friendly, and frankly, an uneducated idiot.
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Permalink Reply by Missy on
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So sorry would pediatrician is booby trapping you. I feel that is the completely wrong advice he is giving you. First of all the AAP recommend breastfeeding for at least 12 months and the WHO for two years. Also if he keeps waking up what ate you going to do to soothe him? Give him artificial baby milk. On top of that breastmilk is still a huge form of nutrients for him. Their are other ways. Please don't stop breastfeeding until you and your little one are ready. He may be going through a growth spurt right now? The usually do around a year and that may be why he is waking and eating more frequently. Have u seen a gentle sleep coach? I know a great one Michelle Donaghy. She can give you techniques to get him to sleep through the night in a gentle non cry it out way. Any other question or more support u can visit my Facebook page or email me. Please don't hesitate to do so. Facebook.com/mommasnaturalinstincts. mommasnaturalinstincts@gmail.com. Also maybe u need to find a better more support breastfeeding friendly doctor :)
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Oh another thing regarding the % on the growth chart make sure the doctor is using the WHO one. Cause the WHIO is for exclusively breastfed babies. The other charts are more geared towards formula fed babies. Which on average weigh more the EBF babies. U can google the chart
:) hope this helps
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Permalink Reply by Janet on
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Thanks for the tip, Jen--I have heard of the No Cry Sleep Solution, but never read it. I just assumed there was no such thing--lol! I have the Sears Sleep Book, and find most of his books to be repetitive..but I may check out the Fussy Baby just to be sure. I am going to contact Milkalicious ... I have tried giving my son formula this past week, but he totally rejected it! He is still not eating much, so I think I need some more directed help from a lactation consultant. Thanks again!
Jen Broas said:Can I recommend a book to you? It's called the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I have a 19 month old very difficult sleeper (who still struggles a bit), but I also exclusively breastfed for 13 months. I usually nursed her to sleep, but started feeding her solids at 6 months. I very much chose the natural route of childbirthing, childraising, etc. I had so many friends recommend Baby Wise or the Cry it Out "training". I refused and am thrilled I did. This book will help tremendously!!! Another amazing book is The Fussy Baby by Dr. Sears. Lifesaver.
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