I would love some real honest advice about having two children so close in age. What are the pros and cons?  How about if you don't have any family nearby to help or have a fancy lifestyle to afford a nanny.  Any advice would be much appreciated! :)

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Ashley- You will do great. Moms stop me all the time to ask how I did it when they were younger. The first year is hard but after that it all seems easy.  We are already getting payback :) Not bad for a 4 year investment.  Personally it has made me much more easy going. Either that or I am just losing my mind.  We tried our first camping trip with the girls when they were 2 & 3! Good luck.

Ashley Hunter said:

jen C- That sounds so cute how they compliment eachother. That is the same thing I observe with my 3 and 4 year old cousins :) As for me, I am insane as Nat H says :) and I planned to have them close. My babies will be about 15-16 months apart depending on the day I deliever. I am scared but confident I made the best choice having them close together. I have accepted the fact the first few months with be rough, but I am looking forward to having 2 toddler buddies one day.

 

You know the bottom line is people freaked me out just hearing about "having a baby". Then I got there and I could totally do it. I had scared myself silly before Wesley was born. I was amazed how much I enjoyed the "hard" things etc... I plan to keep scaring the heck out of myself before my 2nd baby is born in July... Then hopefully it wont be as bad as I thought - like with my first :) 

I just went back and am reading this. My kids are 14 months apart (18 months and almost 4 months now).  Things are tough at times.  My oldest still cries when the baby cries so then I have 2 crying babies to deal with!  I think we are still dealing with oldest child syndrome where he was used to being king of the house and now he has to share.  But, he does love his baby brother!! 

Glad to hear it gets better after the first year.  I plan on having help the first year and then winging it from there.

I read a lot of the above posts, and, it looks like most have had their kids 2 or less years apart. It seems like the consensus is that it's tough when they're little, but, it's worth it. I only have 1 LO, almost 6 months in age. But, having more children is something my husband and I frequently talk about. I don't have personal experience yet with having more than one infant/toddler, but, I have life experience being a sibling and having 2 sisters and a brother. My brother is 11 years older than me, so, he doesn't really count, hehe But, I am the middle sibling of the girls in my family and we are all about 4 years apart (we're now 22, 26, and 30). The reason I am posting is because I think it's important not only to consider your children and how they'll interact with each other as infants/toddlers, but, how they'll interact with each other as kids and teens. I remember liking the fact that I had a sibling to go to school with in elementary school because we were younger and we could get ready together and go to the bus stop together, etc. But, as I got older, I was happy about going to junior high and high school by myself because I could just be me and create my own identity. I knew lots of kids who had older siblings in junior high and high school when they got there and the younger sibling was always know as "so and so's brother/sister". It was tough for them to get out of the shadow of their older sibling and I always felt bad for them. So, there's that. But, there's also the financial side of the equation. Having children close in age results in a bigger financial responsibility, in my opinion. Both my little sister and I played club volleyball and if we were in the same age bracket when we played, my parents financial responsibility would have been double (upwards of 2k). Not to mention the cost of school sports, dances, and  most important...college.

 

I guess there are pros and cons to both sides of the coin and family/personal experience probably sways your end decision. But, for my personal choice, I think I'll be spreading any additional children we have out at least 3.5 years. Hope this helps Mindi!

Hey Ashley, How are you finding life with two so far now that Wyatt's here? :)
Hi Mindi-I love this subject!  I have a two girls under age of 3 years that are 17 months apart, and a little boy on the way this January.  My little guy will be 20 months apart from my daughter Madison.  I always knew I wanted a big family, and to have my children close in age.  I wanted them to experience being in same schools together, be done with diapers ASAP, and being close in age they can share more experiences together.
I did have hired help when my second daughter arrived.  Now I currently have my first born in preschool 3 days out of the week, and this gives me quality time with my second before arrival of 3rd baby, and I'll move her to full time when 3rd baby arrives.
Having them close in age I enjoy immensely..... watching my two girls play together, hug, kiss and even hold hands when walking somewhere.  They are creating a bond that is so strong as best-friends because they can share in so many activities together.
Is it hard? Yes no doubt about it.  Are you constantly cleaning? Nonstop! Is every child different? Yes, you never know what you'll get with second.  My second has been easier than my first born by far!
If you have the support of family or paid help it can make having children close in age a bit easier.
Michelle

Boy, do I agree with how cute it is when the little one's play together and hug/kiss...makes your heart melt. With my two boys (4 yrs old and 21 months old), I am also playing constant referee all day, though...them fighting over toys, pushing, chasing, jumping off couches...It's exhausting. I can't believe no one's broken a bone yet.

I'm intrigued to hear from someone who's second was easier than their first. I had no idea how easy I had it until my second came along! ;)

 

Michelle Lebron said:


Having them close in age I enjoy immensely..... watching my two girls play together, hug, kiss and even hold hands when walking somewhere.  They are creating a bond that is so strong as best-friends because they can share in so many activities together.
Is it hard? Yes no doubt about it.  Are you constantly cleaning? Nonstop! Is every child different? Yes, you never know what you'll get with second.  My second has been easier than my first born by far!
If you have the support of family or paid help it can make having children close in age a bit easier.
Michelle
Michelle, for me one was harder than two though I think I'm in the minority. I thought two was really nice and I had a lot of confidence after having one. When I went to three that's when it was hard for me - I only had two hands and three kids under 4 yrs old! It took me a good month to feel like I had even a little bit of a groove.

Wow, is sounds like one year from now will be easy as pie for me the way you ladies are describing it.  My boys are 14 months apart (3 yrs and almost 2).  The first year was CRAZY hard, the next 6 months after were managable but challenging, and the last 4 months have been FUN!  Don't get me wrong...every day has its challenges and ups and downs, but they are so much fun now together.  They run and hide together so I can come find them, they help each other climb up things, they point things out to each other that they know the other loves.  It's sooo cute.  It's only funny to them though when they gang up on mommy!   

It's been a while since your post Mindi, have you decided either way?

Oh no Giselle:-O. Now I'm scared lol... Well I'v had a few moms tell me boys are easier than girls, I guess I'll have to see if thats the case with my little guy. My first will be 3 yrs a month before 3rd baby arrives, I think the household might turn upside down.

@Michelle M- while living in the desert I along with 3 girlfriends were preggo with 1st and 2nd baby at the same time. Between the 4 of us, 3 had it much easier with the 2nd baby. I'm wishing on a star that 3 will be even easier than my second! Fingers X


Giselle Baturay said:
Michelle, for me one was harder than two though I think I'm in the minority. I thought two was really nice and I had a lot of confidence after having one. When I went to three that's when it was hard for me - I only had two hands and three kids under 4 yrs old! It took me a good month to feel like I had even a little bit of a groove.
My 2 girls are 16 months apart and my youngest is 6 weeks old. I dont have any help or a nanny. It is alot easier than I thought. I had some anxiety towards the end of my pregnancy but somehow I'm getting through it. I'm sure I'll look back one day and think "wow how did I do it?"  
I remember with two I found it got easier at 6 weeks and then again at 6 months and then WAY easier once baby started walking cause they entertained each other more...

I had a similar experience as MIchelle - it was very challenging for me until the younger one started walking. My girls are 16m apart, and now that they are 3 and almost 20m,they now are the same size, enjoy mostly the same activities and have the same schedule. I do spend some time refereeing them, and sometimes have to just set up 2 separate activities to keep them from getting in each other's hair, but for the most part they play with each other and get along. Kudos to you all with more than 2 kids! I feel like I'm just barely keeping my head above water with these girls!

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